Power from within
Delilah's post on men and women being friends got me thinking. I'd like to share some thoughts and experiences. Allow me to share a little background.
I was raised Amish. In the Amish culture, and particularily in my family, wives were expected to be "submitted" to the husband. Interestingly, we didn't hear about the husband's responsibility in marriage. Generally in the Amish culture, activities are segregated by sex. In church women sit on one side and men on the other. This holds true to vitually every social gathering. In general, Amish women are regarded as subjects of the husbands. (Maybe this is a better system; divorce is virtually unheard of among the Amish.) I believe that growing up this way gave me an unhealthy view of women.
Being involved in youth ministry for the last 20 years has exposed me to a wide variety of opinions regarding relationships between male and females. One of the more interesting experiences involved being given material to use for a sex education class for teenagers. I was told that this biblically based course "was a must". When I recieved the material, I was so amazed I couldn't put it down. Some of the information contained in this biblically based material:
1. Sex between consenting adults (married or unmarried) was ok as long the spouses were not hurt in the process.
2. Teenagers should be sure they are ready before they have sex.
3. Teens should consider planning in advance for birth control, but in the event they got pregnant they should consider abortion for the good of the child and society. (we already have to many economically deprived people in our culture)
4. Abortion for adults is ok for economic reasons.
5. Same gender sex is ok and normal. It is the way God made us!
This material was curriculum offered by a mainline church and touted as biblically based!
I have worked with or known people involved in youth ministries with some of the following ideas:
1. Males and females should stay separated in all or part of the activities.
2. Males should lead males; females should lead females.
3. Male leaders should never have any physcial contact (touch) with females.
4. You should have physical contact with member of the opposite sex.
We grew up in the middle of the social revolution (60's and 70's); we rebelled against everything and believed that if it feels good (and it doesn't hurt anyone else) do it!!!!!!!!! We regretted we couldn't attend Woodstock but when the movie came out we watched it 2 times in a row. How cool! Free unhibited sex! drugs! People being and doing what they "felt" like. People died? But they died having so much fun!
The culture in which we live also gives a very twisted view of male/female relationships. Watch the commercials. How many have sexual overtones? Wonder why we view members of the opposite sex as sex objects? How about movies and music? Love is equated with sex. Our culture has no clue what Godly love is.
Did Jesus teach us to stay separate from members of the opposite sex? Did he avoid contact with women? Doesn't the bible say something abut us being equal in the Kingdom?
Given all the influences of our culture, upbringing, hormones, etc. How can we have healthy relationships?
Let me share the lesson God taught me. Over the years I tended to view women as sexual objects. When I met or saw a women my mind would wander to the sexual aspect.
As I strove to "be Christ-like", I became frustrated. No matter how hard I tried, how much I prayed, I would still go there. Maybe not as much but I still did at times. Finally, I came to the realization that I couldn't stop this thought pattern. I can't, but thank God, the holy spirit can! It is all about dying to our human nature and allowing Christ to take over that we get transformed.
Put another way, "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength". When this happens then we can love our neighbors in a Godly manner, too. Without the relationship with the Father, we will surely fail. In the Kingdom, we are brothers and sisters and as such we need to love one another. I do not beleive that loving one another means that we keep avoiding each other.
Do I continue to struggle with lust? I find that my struggle with lust is directly related to my walk with the Lord. When I'm really close to Him, it never occurs, when I want to live on my own strength (which we Millers do a lot, it comes back. Read Paul's discussion on sin in Romans 7 and 8.
How do you grow in your love for God? I'd love to hear your coments.
I was raised Amish. In the Amish culture, and particularily in my family, wives were expected to be "submitted" to the husband. Interestingly, we didn't hear about the husband's responsibility in marriage. Generally in the Amish culture, activities are segregated by sex. In church women sit on one side and men on the other. This holds true to vitually every social gathering. In general, Amish women are regarded as subjects of the husbands. (Maybe this is a better system; divorce is virtually unheard of among the Amish.) I believe that growing up this way gave me an unhealthy view of women.
Being involved in youth ministry for the last 20 years has exposed me to a wide variety of opinions regarding relationships between male and females. One of the more interesting experiences involved being given material to use for a sex education class for teenagers. I was told that this biblically based course "was a must". When I recieved the material, I was so amazed I couldn't put it down. Some of the information contained in this biblically based material:
1. Sex between consenting adults (married or unmarried) was ok as long the spouses were not hurt in the process.
2. Teenagers should be sure they are ready before they have sex.
3. Teens should consider planning in advance for birth control, but in the event they got pregnant they should consider abortion for the good of the child and society. (we already have to many economically deprived people in our culture)
4. Abortion for adults is ok for economic reasons.
5. Same gender sex is ok and normal. It is the way God made us!
This material was curriculum offered by a mainline church and touted as biblically based!
I have worked with or known people involved in youth ministries with some of the following ideas:
1. Males and females should stay separated in all or part of the activities.
2. Males should lead males; females should lead females.
3. Male leaders should never have any physcial contact (touch) with females.
4. You should have physical contact with member of the opposite sex.
We grew up in the middle of the social revolution (60's and 70's); we rebelled against everything and believed that if it feels good (and it doesn't hurt anyone else) do it!!!!!!!!! We regretted we couldn't attend Woodstock but when the movie came out we watched it 2 times in a row. How cool! Free unhibited sex! drugs! People being and doing what they "felt" like. People died? But they died having so much fun!
The culture in which we live also gives a very twisted view of male/female relationships. Watch the commercials. How many have sexual overtones? Wonder why we view members of the opposite sex as sex objects? How about movies and music? Love is equated with sex. Our culture has no clue what Godly love is.
Did Jesus teach us to stay separate from members of the opposite sex? Did he avoid contact with women? Doesn't the bible say something abut us being equal in the Kingdom?
Given all the influences of our culture, upbringing, hormones, etc. How can we have healthy relationships?
Let me share the lesson God taught me. Over the years I tended to view women as sexual objects. When I met or saw a women my mind would wander to the sexual aspect.
As I strove to "be Christ-like", I became frustrated. No matter how hard I tried, how much I prayed, I would still go there. Maybe not as much but I still did at times. Finally, I came to the realization that I couldn't stop this thought pattern. I can't, but thank God, the holy spirit can! It is all about dying to our human nature and allowing Christ to take over that we get transformed.
Put another way, "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength". When this happens then we can love our neighbors in a Godly manner, too. Without the relationship with the Father, we will surely fail. In the Kingdom, we are brothers and sisters and as such we need to love one another. I do not beleive that loving one another means that we keep avoiding each other.
Do I continue to struggle with lust? I find that my struggle with lust is directly related to my walk with the Lord. When I'm really close to Him, it never occurs, when I want to live on my own strength (which we Millers do a lot, it comes back. Read Paul's discussion on sin in Romans 7 and 8.
How do you grow in your love for God? I'd love to hear your coments.
posted by Papaw | 7:21 AM
4 Comments:
Wow, this is pretty intense. I love the point that we can't show each other love by avoiding each other. My one friend really doesn't understand my logic on the whole friend issue. I am going to direct her to your blog.
Also, do you have that sex ed. program still? Do you know the verses? I'd love to share them with the boss. Ha.
I do not have the material. It was on loan from Muskingum Presbytery resource center. If I remember correctly, it was authored by Susan Snedeker-Myer and/or her husband who were pastors in Wooster OH. They quoted scripture but I have no idea what it was. Probably about God's uncoditional love for us.
Unbelievable church "curriculum"!
I agree we shouldn't avoid the opposite sex, but since Christ has not fully "taken over" in any of us I think it is wise to use caution.
The only way I've seen true growth in love (or anything else) is by daily "dying to our human nature and allowing Christ to take over" It is a process that is never complete! Such a difficult thing for us independent, hard headed, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, Millers!
I agree with you. How did you become so wise at such a young age?
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